This course focuses on erotic shibari, so it is relevant to define this concept and clarify some related ideas.
Sekibaku: erotic shibari
We define sekibaku as shibari for the enhancement of erotic experiences.
Often, this is interpreted as “shibari for sex,” as if it were a collection of magical techniques and tricks to achieve better results in bed.
**There are no magic tricks that can guarantee an infallible orgasmic response for every person in every situation.
However, there are techniques and knowledge that can help you explore and cultivate your erotic shibari, adapting it to your preferences, your mood, and ensure that the interaction is fulfilling for both partners.
Cultivating personal eroticism is a practice that requires dedication.
In this class, we will establish a solid foundation for your progress, providing you with knowledge and tools to manage your erotic desire as the emotion it is and guide you toward its fulfillment.
We emphasize that these are relevant to both partners (tied / tying) and must take into account the unique experiences of all individuals involved to ensure that the experience is safe and fulfilling for all.
As we talk about erotic shibari, let us define this concept and clarify related ideas.
Academically, eroticism is defined as the expression of our sexuality, unique to each individual, as no two people are alike.
Through this lens, sexuality refers to how we experience ourselves as sexual beings interacting with other sexual beings. Because each person is unique, there are as many sexualities as there are individuals.
Eroticism therefore becomes the expression of this unique way of living our sexuality, which may or may not involve others.
However, these academic definitions often feel impractical outside a research context. When reading them, it's common to wonder, “But what does that mean for me?”
Moreover, the terminology and breadth of these concepts can sometimes be challenging to grasp.
Throughout this course, we will explore these definitions and concepts from the perspective of shibari practitioners, seeking ways to apply them to your own experience.
If eroticism is the expression of our sexuality, this means that we are referring to the behaviors and thoughts that result from creating a context that generates erotic desire.
Put more simply, anything that comes to mind as a good idea at that moment that helps sustain the desire you're feeling.
These expressions may involve others, but this is not a requirement.
In this sense, sexuality is the set of ideas that shape how we see ourselves as sexual beings and how we relate to others as sexual beings.
This includes how we interpret our sexual identity or the sex we embody, as well as our erotic orientation—essentially, the sex of the individuals we engage with in contexts that can generate erotic desire.
This includes how we interpret our sexual identity, or the gender we embody, and our erotic orientation - essentially the gender of the people we engage with in contexts that can generate erotic desire.
It also covers what these sex-gender distinctions mean to us and all the implications they carry.
Given that each person is unique, with a distinctive brain, experiences, and learning, we can assume that each individual has their own unique set of mental frameworks.
Thus, every sexuality and every erotic expression is unique and different from the rest, although similarities may exist within the same social group.
Moreover, they may have varying degrees of compatibility with those of others.
This emphasis on the uniqueness and diversity of sexuality and eroticism is key to understanding how and why shibari techniques are effective.
As each individual has their own evolving experience, we must tailor the application of these techniques to the moment and to each person.
Erotic shibari is not just about tying and untying—it is about creating an erotic interaction that is meaningful and pleasurable for all parties involved.
It is a way to explore personal desires and those of the people with whom we share the experience, cultivating shared moments and mutual comprehension between partners.
Always consider the experience of both, whether tying or being tied, to ensure that the interaction is satisfying for all involved.