When it comes to sexuality, everyone may have a different understanding. It’s a broad and diverse topic that encompasses many perspectives.
To ensure we’re on the same page, we’ll define some key concepts that will guide this course and make things clearer.
Sensuality
Sensuality is what attracts us to a person or situation and adds a touch of eroticism. It helps to create an environment where desire can arise naturally. Think of it as the soft starting point of an erotic experience.
It can be found in gestures, looks, scents, choice of clothing or even the way the ropes brush against the skin during shibari. The possibilities are endless, but they all have one thing in common: they heighten our perception and evoke erotic thoughts or feelings.
Sex and Sexual
Here, we don’t mean just genitals or specific acts. When we talk about “sex” or “sexual,” we refer to each person’s unique erotic expressions. This includes practices, preferences, and desires that are entirely specific to each individual.
There is no definitive list of what falls into this category because everyone's tastes are different. The focus of this course is not to describe specific practices in detail, but how to experience them consciously and pleasurably.
In this course, we will focus on the experience, not on specific practices.
Arousal
Arousal refers to your body's physical and mental activation in response to any situation.
In an erotic context, it can manifest as physical changes like faster breathing, a quickened heartbeat, or muscular tension.
Arousal is not always erotic. It is all about how your brain processing the situation.
For example, being tied up by someone you trust can be arousing. However, being unexpectedly tied up by a stranger may be a source of anxiety or discomfort.
What really matters is that both people involved share the same erotic context. This can avoid misunderstandings or awkward situations.
Stimulation
In this course, “stimulation” refers to the actions, gestures, or movements performed by the person tying, aimed at increasing the arousal of the person being tied. This can include the use of ropes, touches, or even words.
Within the dynamics proposed in the course, stimulation will refer to the process of bringing arousal to the erotic context.
Kink
Shibari is part of what is known as “kink,” referring to erotic practices outside the mainstream or traditional. This term doesn’t carry a judgment; it simply describes what is less common.
(Into Shibari) There is an asymmetry in access to and management of resources. One party takes control of all resources, while the other transfers them, excluding violence but rather relying on a mixture of trust and subterfuge
Fantasies
Fantasies are imagined scenarios, interactions, or sensations that take place in the mind and are related to the erotic realm. They can involve real or imaginary situations, including thoughts of a romantic relationship or a playful encounter.
Not all fantasies are meant to be acted out. Sometimes they may not live up to expectations because the imagination allows for complete control — something that real life interactions lack.
Shibari fantasies may begin before the first experience. These mental explorations are just as valid as physical actions, and provide insights into what excites and interests us.
Behaviors
Erotic behaviors include everything we do in the real world in an erotic context. This can range from caressing and kissing to more specific practices such as shibari or spanking.
Genital involvement isn't a requirement for something to be erotic. What makes a behavior erotic is not the act itself, but how we interpret and experience it.
Everyone's preferences are unique. Some behaviors will be more appealing, while others may not resonate. Recognizing and respecting these differences is crucial when planning an erotic interaction.
Cultivating Eroticism
Eroticism is a part of our lives that we can nurture and explore.
While we can't control desire entirely or switch it on and off at will, we can cultivate it through discovering new practices, interactions, and fantasies that help sustain and deepen our sense of desire.
The key lies in getting to know ourselves—understanding what excites us and learning how to embrace those aspects as part of a satisfying erotic experience.
By focusing on mutual understanding, open communication, and a shared exploration of desire, the journey into erotic shibari can become a safe, fulfilling, and enriching adventure for all involved.