We’ll choose the management tools during the session based on the person being tied, which requires both of us to be fully aware of the nature of our desire.
It’s important to remember that, like any emotion, desire is a prediction generated by the brain—a mental schema that tries to make sense of information from inside and outside the body.
Because of this, trying to manage it purely through the mind is impractical and carries certain risks, as our perception and other cognitive processes are biased by that emotion.
Let’s now explore how to manage desire through behaviors and, by extension, the body.
While the behaviors of the person being tied are restricted, they’re not entirely limited.
Inside the body, a series of processes take place that affect the information our brain receives from the interoceptive system.
In this way, the body becomes a tool for managing desire, allowing us to act on part of the information the brain is trying to interpret.
During the session, the person doing the tying can manage the behavior of the person being tied in two ways:
- By imposing or limiting body postures or movements.
- By physically preventing movement, either using their own body or with tools like bondage restraints.
The choice between these methods, or the degree to which they’re combined, depends entirely on the value or meaning that method holds for the person being tied.
Why does this subjective dependence exist?
When restriction, or management—which in this context are equivalent terms, is carried out through “movement induction,” it’s the person being tied who performs the action.
It’s a “voluntary” act, even though they may have little choice in the matter. The movements or maintaining a posture is something the person does themselves.
If this act of will has erotic value for the person, the restriction will be effective from an erotic standpoint, as it will increase their arousal and, with it, their desire.
On the other hand, if it lacks erotic value, the person being tied will sustain the restriction out of their bond with the other person, since power dynamics are a form of connection. In this case, the restriction becomes merely a sensation.
The same applies to physical restraint. It must have erotic value to become a tool that helps us explore our erotic desires.
While the previous paragraphs refer to the “erotic value” of restriction for the person being tied, this principle applies to both people involved.
Managing or immobilizing another person must be part of the erotic experience for the person doing the tying.
Introducing an element or practice into an erotic interaction that doesn’t align with the eroticism of the participants is a serious mistake.
At best, it can be unpleasant, create conditioning that harms future interactions, or, at worst, constitute abuse.