his technique, within the Yagami Ryu, is known as Fureru 触れる (To Touch) and Toraeru 捉える (To Capture). It refers to the way we interact with the body and how we use it to communicate.
In other shibari schools, such as the Osada Ryu, it is often referred to as "capturing." Generally, these schools tend to embrace "martial" concepts of confrontation and preventing the other party from escaping, rather than focusing on using the body as an erotic tool.
The explanations and descriptions of this technique by Yagami Ren are somewhat unclear, relying heavily on metaphor and lacking precision.
For this reason, in the Dojo, we have worked on refining the technique to determine its validity and, having found it meaningful, to provide an explanation and application that can be universally understood and scientifically grounded.
We have named our development the "Velcro Theory," as this material serves as an excellent analogy for the concepts we are exploring.
Yagami Ryu "Academic" Definition:
In sekibaku, we apply three levels or degrees of interaction with the body. For clarity, we will refer to them as skin, muscle, and bone.
Through these levels, using one or another, we can modulate the tone of our communication.
Remember that in sekibaku, the asymmetry is not about power but about access to resources. Therefore, it is the role of the person tying to "move" the person being tied.
Asking the tied person to move or change position in the middle of an erotic interaction can feel unerotic and even take us out of the moment.
Levels of Interaction
Skin Level
This level encompasses everything we can manage simply through touch. It is the most subtle form of body management, and its effects are equally subtle.
Muscle Level (or Tendon, Depending on Translation)
Here, we are dealing with a more pronounced form of management, where muscle activation and the use of joints (to create or release restrictions) are key.
This technique is directly borrowed from aikido and other martial arts. Its application, while not forceful or intense, is less subtle than the "skin" level, and thus its effects on the body are more noticeable.
Bone Level
It is understood that we are not literally touching the bones in shibari practice. Instead, this is a metaphor to indicate that we are managing the entire body, "down to the bones" (as they say in Spain when you get caught in the rain and get completely soaked).
This is a more intense form of management, though it does not necessarily require excessive force. Since it also comes from a martial arts context, it leverages the energy, strength, or weight of the other person.
However, it is the most direct form of communication, with the most noticeable effects.
The Velcro Theory
After many months of working on the original framework of the Yagami Ryu, we began to notice certain things, which we outline below.
The body does not speak; we cannot have a "conversation" between two bodies. The body can communicate, but not in the simplest sense of the concept—that is, transmitting and receiving. In other words, it is a medium.
For communication to occur, there must also be a sender and a receiver. In shibari, this is a given. However, both must be present; if one is in a "journey" or altered state of consciousness, communication loses its value.
A code, a language, is also necessary to express the message. Due to its nature, the body is limited in this regard, reducing its code to a few signals, primarily intensity and direction.
This limits the type of message we can transmit.
While languages like Morse code or binary can convey complex messages with just two elements, applying such a complex encoding in an erotic encounter would not be practical.
Finally, the message itself. If we have such a simple code as described, let’s assume that we are only transmitting two things: "being" and "in this/that direction."
Any other interpretation of body communication will confuse messages based on the emotional state of the receiver. We interpret any gesture or response from the other person’s body according to our own level of arousal, regardless of what the other person is feeling, expressing, or desiring.
It’s easy to see that an approach based on "assuming" is dangerous.
If you have a dog and take it for walks on a leash, you’ll understand that guiding it relies on gestures indicating direction and the tension of the leash. If you hesitate, the gestures become erratic, or if each of you wants to go in opposite directions, there will be no communication—only conflict.
In shibari, it’s the same. Not because the tied person is "lesser" or a pet, but because their capacity for control is restricted by the person tying, who assumes that control.
Therefore, both for the development of the session, where we aim to heighten erotic desire, and for safety and ergonomics when moving the body, it is very useful to employ a technique that helps us achieve this efficiently.
To do this, and since we are in an erotic context where we follow a framework for managing desire, the first thing to keep in mind is that we must avoid abruptness. The more subtle, the more we suggest rather than impose, the more efficient the management will be.
In this sense, we will take advantage of biomechanics.
Our bodies, all of them, know what the correct posture is and how to move properly. It’s just that, due to life’s circumstances, we develop bad habits, but the body never forgets how to move.
We will use this to our advantage, inducing movement in the tied person’s body—not leading, not forcing, but simply suggesting and letting their body move on its own.
At first, the response may be hesitant, but gradually, over the course of the session, they will "trust" that the movements we indicate are safe and efficient, and that they expend less energy moving this way. As a result, they will gradually cede control of their body to the person tying. This frees their brain from that task, allowing them to focus more on exploring desire.
How Does It Work?
We will use the body techniques covered in the first lesson of the course.
That is, both bodies must be in a balanced position; otherwise, controlled and safe management will not be possible.
Activation is required, proportional to the movements or forces we are managing. Rolling on the ground does not have the same requirements as a suspension twist.
Like the children’s toy telephone made of two cups connected by a string, if the string—in this case, the body—is not taut, not activated, the signal will not transmit.
Another analogy with this toy is that only one person can speak at a time: one person speaks, sends their message, and the other listens, receives... and so on, alternating. If both try to speak at once, the transmission is canceled.
To begin, we will use the ground’s reaction force.
When the person tying touches the tied person, they are not pushing or moving them; they are offering a point of support where the tied person can "leave" part of their weight.
It’s not about pushing; if we push, the effect is separation; if we support, the effect is stabilization.
In this way, the energy distribution circuit of each body combines, so that the weight the tied person transfers to the person tying can be converted into energy to move both bodies.
We demonstrate this in the video.
What Happens in the Video?
In the video, we present an exercise we recommend practicing to develop sensitivity and better understand how this technique works.
First, both parties are balanced.
The person tying offers their forearm; the arm is bent at a right angle.
The tied person rests their forearm.
Skin-to-skin contact is preferable; be mindful of using body creams, as they can cause slipping.
The contact point: Find one that is comfortable for each of you. The tied person should rest their pinky line, on the upper third, near the elbow, but this varies from person to person. The person tying will also rest on the upper third of their forearm, likely on the muscular part.
Test until you find the most comfortable point for each of you. This will allow you to give and receive support without pain or discomfort.
The support itself involves the tied person being aware of the weight they exert against the ground, gathering that weight, and, using their core, transmitting it to their arm to create an extra point of support.
You can better understand this if you visualize it as the armrests of a chair, and you use them to help yourself stand up; you don’t put all your weight on them, just a portion.
The person tying receives the weight, not with the arm or biceps, but with the core, and from there to the ground, so that the ground returns it as energy that travels back through the same circuit to the forearm, returning support to the tied person.
In this way, we establish a biomechanical circuit, sharing the ground’s reaction force, which becomes the channel for communication.
Everything we’ve discussed so far, don’t try to do it all at once.
Go step by step, verifying each part. If you’re not used to functional exercises, it can take a little while to grasp what’s being sought and how the mechanism works. But we all know how to do it, and we all can.
Feeling this "circuit" is very important.
When practicing, you can and should ask questions and give feedback. More, higher, lower... whatever it is... this is the time to learn and correct.
But when we are in a session, applying shibari to our erotic interactions, it’s not the time for checks. Therefore, developing the skill to activate and manage, and especially for the person tying to sense when the other party is active and responsive, will be essential.
If you can already feel the weight in both directions and how this support works, it’s time to move.
To start, we recommend simply moving upward. It’s the simplest movement to execute and verify.
The person tying slowly but firmly raises their arm a few centimeters vertically. They should observe the tied person’s reaction. If everything works correctly, the tied person should rise onto their tiptoes, lifting their body as a whole.
If not: you’re not applying the posture and activation correctly.
The next step is to move the person in multiple directions. This requires that the tied person knows and can perform the movement.
Example: If they are sitting cross-legged in a lotus position, and we move forward, they will first need to unfold one leg, then shift their weight onto it, then unfold the other leg, and begin to move. Whew... a lot for such limited communication.
In this case, the person managing must give them time and clearly indicate the direction and intention of the movement. A little forward and upward will make them want to stand up, a pause to let them extend the first leg, then continue to shift their weight onto that leg, a brief pause to let them extend the other leg, and now, upward.
This is a simple technique, and if it’s not working for you, it’s due to one of these reasons:
- Unbalanced posture, poor weight distribution, and body compensations.
- Lack of muscle activation, either too little (laxity) or too much (tension).
- Initiating the movement from the forearm, hand, or biceps, rather than the core.
- Inappropriate speed, either too fast or too slow.
All these aspects are covered in Module 1.
When performing this exercise, feedback is crucial. I don’t know how your body responds or what you’re feeling; tell me.
Let’s speak without fear, to understand each other, to learn from one another, to enjoy more together. But use words, as they are the clearest and most concise way to express messages.